Pies of course.
Come on you guys! Minds out of gutters.
Holy Heck, I am listening to Ray Charles sing this song (Makin Whoopee) right now and it is killing me. I think I need a Ray Charles cd or something. If I had to pick 3 artists to sing to me on a deserted island I would pick Ray, Johnny Cash & Rick Springfield of course.
I have just this very second decided that I am going to listen to Ray Charles sing different songs the whole time I write this post. Every time a new song starts I’ll put it in parenthesis so you’ll feel closer to me. (Georgia on My Mind) His voice is so soothing. Especially considering my yelling kids and chewing, barking dogs which drive me so absolutely crazy that I had to mix up a little wine cooler to get through the rest of the day.
(My Bonnie) Since I last posted, I have survived a trip to Disneyland, taken another trip to Kingman where I fell over my sister’s fence and almost broke my kneecaps, had both of my love seat cushions chewed to bits by two naughty dogs and got chased by two coyotes (more on that next week in ‘The Great Coyote Attack of 2012).
So it just seemed that (What’d I Say) since I didn’t really have to leave the house today it would be a great reason to make whoopee.
Again with the Pervy McPervesons…
This is what you’ll need for the pie (cake?) part.
Oh and some ‘sour milk’
Sour milk is simply 1 cup milk with a tablespoon of lemon juice or vinegar added and mixed up in a Hamburgler glass.
You need a holy lot of Crisco for this recipe. (Hit The Road Jack)
Cream the Crisco and white sugar together. SO snowy white. Like the blizzard last week in Wisconsin. Hellooooo. It’s March.
Then you add the eggs and the sour milk and it kinda looks like Cream of Wheat, but grosser.
Is grosser a word or should I have said “more gross’?
Then you mix up your dry ingredients EXCEPT the baking soda in a separate bowl. (I’ve Got A Woman)
Add the dry mix to the Cream of Wheat.
Stir it till your arm falls off.
Or till it looks like this.
Have I mentioned that my kids drive me crazy?
Now take your baking soda and add a cup of HOT water to it. Hopefully you are fortunate enough (like me) to have the hottest tap water in the world so you won’t have to microwave it or anything.
I have eaten soups that were cooler than my tap water.
Add the hot water mixture to the fudgy batter (Mess Around)
Super shiny batter because of the Crisco I think.
Go ahead and have a lick.
Drop by tablespoonfuls onto parchment lined cookie sheets. They come out kind of ginormous and I switched to heaping teaspoons by the third batch.
Now this first batch I used a new age, 21st century insulated bakeware type cookie sheet and these stinkers turned out flat like regular cookies.
The next batch I used my trusty (albeit not as shiny) aluminum pan from Nineteen seventy something.
They came out all puffy and PERFECT and then I had an epiphany. WHY would you make insulated bakeware if in fact the recipe is to be baked at a certain temperature? Why would your treats need to be insulated from the proper heat source needed to make them turn out like they are supposed to?
The evidence. Ok. So they don’t look all that different in the photo (probably due to my super photography skills) but trust me, huge difference.
I am DONE with insulated bakeware. (Somewhere Over The Rainbow-OMG Judy G. got NUTHIN on Ray)
As soon as I am done writing this, I am going on ebay and buying some old 1970 cookie sheets.
Perfectly Puffy. Large, but Puffy. This was before I switched to the smaller spoon.
Ok. Once they are all out of the oven and properly cooled off, you can start the filling.
More Crisco. Oh and a little milk and flour which I forgot to put in the picture and I was too super lazy to take another one. ( Your Cheatin Heart)
I know it seems all super weird to add flour to the filling but it totally works.
After the flour, powder sugar, milk and vanilla are all mixed to a creamy loveliness…….
You can use your new super most fabulous EVAH vintage Nineteen Sixty Something Sunbeam mixer to whip your egg whites!!!!
(You Are My Sunshine)
Confession. Recipe said ‘fold egg whites in’ but I totally used the low setting on my NOT vintage mixer.
And I totally know it was extra work to use two mixers but COME ON.
Sigh. (America The Beautiful)
The recipe makes a ton of filling, so load them up. It is ok to completely ignore the instruction to use 1 tablespoon per pie.
Ok. Now stick them in the fridge for half an hour or so.
Use the time to put on your stretchy pants and do some jumping jacks or sit ups or something.
Cause these will do some damage to your midsection.
Make Whoopee, Not War.
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Grease or parchment cookie sheets.
In a large bowl, cream together 1 cup of shortening and white sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time then stir in the vanilla and sour milk. Combine the flour, cocoa and salt, stir into the creamed mixture. Stir together the baking soda and hot water then mix them into the batter last. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto the prepared cookie sheet.
Bake for 8 minutes in the preheated oven, until firm but not overbaked. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely.
To make the filling: In a medium bowl, cream together the 1 1/2 cups shortening with the confectioners’ sugar and 1/4 cup of flour until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in the milk and vanilla until well mixed, then fold in the egg whites. Sandwich at least 1 tablespoon of filling between the flat sides of two cookies.
For best results, refrigerate 30 minutes before eating. Store in refrigerator.