Pancakes, Pie Crust and Hard Boiled Eggs

I know this is a picture of delicious meatballs (with my super secret-stay moist ingredient). I will share the recipe with you tomorrow. Don’t they look delicious?

I am quite aware that the title of the post and the picture are not in harmony.

Thank you.

I did it on purpose. To sort of make a point.

I can cook/bake a lot of things.

Except.

Pancakes, pie crusts and hard boiled eggs. They are my nemeses. My Bermuda Triangle of cooking. My own personal Axis of Evil.

Here is a pancake I made this morning. Let’s forget for a minute that it is square and green (because of the leprechauns).

It tasted pretty much how it looks.

Because I cannot make pancakes. I just can’t. Something always goes wrong. Last time I forgot the eggs. This time I remembered the eggs, but used baking soda instead of baking powder, which probably wouldn’t have been fatal except that I used a tablespoon instead of a teaspoon. And you could totally tell. I tried to disguise it from poor unsuspecting Gabby by drowning it in syrup, but no go.

“These taste weird”

I don’t even bother with pie crust anymore. Too many disasters. I just pay the $2.49 and let the doughboy do the work.

Hard boiled eggs? I am always unsure how long to boil them. So I figure the longer the better. Don’t want to get salmonella, right? I boil the crap out of them. I boil them until the water in the pan evaporates and the little shells crack and the insides gush out.

I am not a very good cook at all.

I am a fake.

A pretender.

In the words of Mammy from Gone With the Wind, I am just a mule in a hawse harness Mistah Rhett.

I super love Gone With the Wind. One of my very favorite movies. If you have never seen it, you are truly missing out. I wanted to be Scarlett when I grew up and wear hoop skirts and chase Ashley Wilkes and dance with the Tarleton twins.

Except when I took the Facebook quiz “Which Gone With the Wind Character Are You?”

I got Belle Watling.

The local brothel owner.

Rats.

I wonder if she can make pancakes or pie crusts or hard boiled eggs……….

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About Janice

I am 40 years old. Loving life and (finally) being a grown up. I have 3 great kids that sometimes make me want to drink copious amounts of wine. I have been married to my amazing husband since 2001. I have more great girlfriends than you can shake the proverbial stick at. Join me in this adventure that is my life.
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6 Responses to Pancakes, Pie Crust and Hard Boiled Eggs

  1. Wendy says:

    Hi Janice,

    I am hoping that this post will get me back on the friend list with you……hee hee……. I can’t help with the pancakes, or pie crust but I can make a perfect hard boiled egg everytime….. my Momma taught me this =o) After the eggs are in the pan cover completely with cool water, bring to a boil let boil on med-high heat for 3 minutes, then take off the burner cover with lid and let stand for 18 minutes (set your timer) drain water and add cold water & ice when cooled off peel your egg and enjoy!!!! Perfect everytime…… Talk to you soon.

    xoxo

  2. Elizabeth says:

    Well, I just have to say GWTW in book and movie format are my favorite. And I have an authentic Civil War recreated hoop skirt and Scarlett costume if you ever want to wear it for a day. Mom made it of course and it is amazing.

  3. Jennifer says:

    “I am just a mule in a hawse harness Mistah Rhett.”

    HAHAHA!

    I remember reading that book for extra credit in HS.

    My bermuda triangle involves anything that requires a rolling pin. I don’t even have a rolling pin.

    Pancakes are easy for me, though… not that I’m trying to brag or anything… 🙂

  4. sue says:

    AAAWWWW…Gone with the Wind Marathons!!! Good times, sister!! And you increased my self-esteem a little…thought you were the perfect Suzy homemaker leaving us behind…although I’m trying to compete on birthday cakes alone…go with the rest of us and USE THE BOX pancake mix…they have whole wheat now. I was trying to buy the healthy (& I think delicious) Kodiak Cakes..but “they taste weird.” So….
    Every time I read that quote from you I can hear Emily’s voice….

  5. Janice says:

    The sad thing is Sue–I DID use the box mix–how lame am I?
    Wendy–I could never only boil an egg for 3 minutes!!! Really???
    Jen-No rolling pin here either…..
    Elizabeth–Have your mom make me one and then we can dress up and eat bar-b-que together and watch GWTW!!

  6. Sister Cindy says:

    Don’t worry, mom can’t cook either. (Don’t tell her). When the eggs come to a boil, I time them for 10min and IMMEDIATELY take them off and run cold water on them. I can cook, but cant bake, or, too lazy. I did make Dolf brsft this am, so he wouldn’t mess up the kitchen with his grease. C

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