Peachy Keen……NOT!

I love a good peach cobbler.

It makes me feel all Southern Belle like.

I decided to make a delightful peach cobbler to take to a work potluck. Peaches are one of my favorite fruits. It seems like you can only get really good peaches about two weeks out of the year, in August. I eat probably two a day then, because sooner than not the peach season is over and you get the hard peaches that are more like peach flavored apples. Since it is May, I went with canned peaches, which I usually can’t stomach because they bring back bad memories of grade school hot lunch.

And I have a bone to pick about hot lunch.

I would like to point out that we did not get chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers or pizza all the time. We got stuff like Turkey Tetrazzini with canned green beans and peaches. Or the one we called Gravy Train which was basically ground beef (I think) and water over mashed potatoes. And lima beans. What the heck? Who was on the school lunch committee in the late 70’s???

Look closely and see if you can figure out my fatal mistake.

Start out with 2 sticks of butter in your dish. You could halve this recipe and make it in an 8 x 8 or 9 x 9 if you like, but you must use a glass baking dish.

You need to melt the butter in the oven while you are mixing up the batter. Be careful not to forget it in the oven. And don’t think for a minute that just because the dish has only been in the oven for about 10 minutes that you can skip using your oven mitts when taking it out. Bad idea.

Sugar & Spice. I use a mix of brown & white sugar. Brown sugar makes everything more caramely. I also used some cardamom in this because it is my new favorite spice.

Wouldn’t you like to sunbathe on a beach of brown sugar?

Add your flour mixture.

I was seriously lazy and used a fork. Because the utensil drawer holding my whisk was out of reach.

Add your milk a little at a time. Not sure why some recipes do that. My guess is it makes it less likely you will have large clumps. Don’t quote me. I don’t have a degree in lumpiness or anything.

Lump free.

Use your oven mitts (trust me-use them) to transfer your deliciousness to the counter. All you will be able to think about at this point is popcorn.

Pour your batter into the the buttery goodness. Work from the outside in. Don’t just dump it all in the middle or you will be driving yourself crazy trying to get the middle to cook.

Spread the love man, spread the love.

Try and arrange your peaches evenly throughout. You will have to use your hands. It can get sticky. And you don’t want to drain them completely, only about half way. If you use fresh peaches, you would slice them up beforehand and let them macerate in sugar and lemon juice.

Are you impressed by my use of the 50 cent word macerate?

Me too.

I had decided to be a super fancy schmancy McFancypants and add cherries too.

Pop it into your 350 degree oven and head upstairs to watch Army Wives.

Ignore that little niggling in your brain that something is missing from your recipe.

When that little voice gets extremely loud and insistent that something is missing, double check your recipe.

Curse & swear and kick stuff around when you realize what has happened.

Now, I normally use the recipe I got from my sister for cobbler, but I couldn’t find it. It was probably in the utensil drawer with the whisk or something, so I googled until I found one that I thought was the same.

Not.

Hey! Becky McBakerson! When you submit a recipe that uses self rising flour, you shouldn’t just assume that everyone will be paying super specific attention to your details and you might want to mention in there that HEY, if you are not using self rising flour because you only skimmed the recipe, because you have three kids harassing you at all times,  maybe, JUST MAYBE, you should add baking powder.

And about 25 minutes into the baking process I thought to myself  ‘How weird that the recipe did not call for baking powder or anything’. Then I double checked and saw the self rising part. Like who really uses self rising flour?

Come On!

So I pulled it out and stirred it around and stuck it back in thinking that maybe it would turn into a cake.

Not my proudest baking moment.

It looks like headcheese.

I grew up on a farm and we made headcheese, so I know what it looks like. It looks like my cake. And headcheese is exactly what it sounds like. HEADcheese. From a pig. The head to be specific.  It is not really cheese.

It is boiled head.

My brother used to knock on the back door and then when I (at all of 5 years old) would open the door he would shake the head at me.

Boogity Boogity.

No this was not the same brother that used to call me from the garage phone and tell me he was the devil.

Luckily, I had two older brothers.

Hey gelatinous pile of crap cake! Meet your new BFF.

Why yes that is the stem of a wineglass in the background.

The whole baking powderless cake fiasco and pig head memories sent me over the edge.

Luckily my knight in shining armor jumped on his white steed into the Toyota and went to the store for more peaches. I think he was feeling badly about the whole lemon fiasco.

And I hauled out another baking dish, more bowls, more flour, sugar and butter and of course, the baking powder. I skipped the cherries this time.

Voila

PEACHY KEEN COBBLER

2 sticks of butter

3/4 cup white sugar

3/4 cup brown sugar

2 cups flour

Several shakes of cinnamon, nutmeg and cardamom (if you have it)

2 cups milk

2 Tsp. BAKING POWDER

2  29 oz cans of peaches in light syrup (drain one can and leave one with the juice)

1. Heat the oven to 350

2. Slice your butter and arrange in the bottom of your 9 x 13 glass dish. Melt the butter in the oven while you are mixing up the batter.

3. Combine your sugars, flour, BAKING POWDER and spices. Whisk well and then add the milk a little at a time until you have a nice lump free batter.

4. Remove your butter from the oven and carefully pour the batter over the hot butter. Work from the edges in.

5. Arrange your fruit on top of the batter. Try to distribute it evenly.

6. Bake at 350 for about 50-60 minutes. Keep checking to make sure it is golden brown and the center is not doughy.

Serve over ice cream

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About Janice

I am 40 years old. Loving life and (finally) being a grown up. I have 3 great kids that sometimes make me want to drink copious amounts of wine. I have been married to my amazing husband since 2001. I have more great girlfriends than you can shake the proverbial stick at. Join me in this adventure that is my life.
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6 Responses to Peachy Keen……NOT!

  1. Kristin says:

    That reminds me of the time I made a beautiful apple pie that was inedible because I forgot to add sugar.

  2. Missy says:

    I got the shred from the library but it is only a 7 day rental… So if I can do it for a whole 7 days then I’ll let myself bake this!!

  3. Sister Cindy says:

    I am totally surpised that you used the word masterbate in a sentence correctly. Oops, I mean macerate. C
    PS Headcheese isn’t that bad……

  4. Janice says:

    You dork. You didn’t even spell it correctly…..

  5. julie says:

    vanessa is insisting that i throw her a grad party- thought i did that after high school, she insists that college is a bigger deal and so since she is going to memphis its gonna be a memphis bbq, am going to have to do the peach cobbler-very southern, i am actually speaking in a southern drawl in my head right now, for the dessert, okay one of them, we are all about the desserts.

  6. carma says:

    you are quite the chef – much fancier than our plain ‘ole cobbler

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