Salty Chocolate Caramel Tears Of Joy

You will cry tears of joy after you make these.

They are that good.

These are the magic makers.

You will need coarse sea salt for the top. You cannot substitute table salt. It just won’t work.

Salt & Chocolate were made for each other.

It is a fact of life.

You take the good, you take the bad, you take them all and there you have the facts of life.

The facts of life.

Remember when Mrs. Garrett used to work for the Drummond’s?

Then she got that cush job at Eastland.

And we all wanted to be Blair.

Because she was rich & beautiful & had a cool name.

And besides, who else would you emulate? Jo was scary ‘don’t want to meet her in an alley’ mean and Tootie was weirdo roller skate girl and Natalie was………..well, you know. So that leaves Blair or Mrs. Garrett and Mrs. Garrett always had kind of a weird head tremor shake thing going on. Blair was the obvious choice.

Cream your brown sugar and butter.

You want it really creamy and fluffy.

Then blend in your flour. You could use a mixer I suppose, but I like my wooden spoon.

You have to use parchment paper for this recipe. There is no way out of it.

Sorry.

So I finally have an occasion to use my Pampered Chef pie crust roller thingy. I never use it for pie crust, because I cannot make pie crust.

And please don’t jump in here and tell me you have your Aunt Ida’s pie crust recipe and it is so super easy that a monkey could make it and blah blah blah.

Because I will be a great disappointment to Aunt Ida.

And I am ok with that.

I’m Ok, You’re Ok.

(What is that book about anyways?)

Bake your crust at 350 for about 25 minutes.

Now comes the hard part.

You have to cook your sugar and water together over medium high heat, stirring constantly.

CONSTANTLY.

Don’t step away for a minute.

I am not even kidding.

Have your butter and cream and salt all ready to go, because if you stop stirring while it is hot it over heats and clumps up and then you will have to start over.

Been there.

You have to cook & stir for about 9-10 minutes or until your arm falls off.

5 minutes down. You want the sugar & water to become more like an amber color. Ok, so that never really happens for me, but that is what the recipe says and so I have to throw it in there. I just set the timer on the microwave and stir nonstop for 10 minutes.

Not even stopping for this.

If you still have the use of your arm after 10 minutes, pull the pan off the ehat and add your cream, salt & butter.

Bring it to a nice boil.

Pour the hot buttery goodness over your chocolate chips and let it set for a minute or two.

Then stir it up and let it sit and cool for another 7-8 minutes.

Oh Man.

Can’t take it.

Lick every square inch of your bowl.

I am pretty sure this is what Willy Wonka has in his chocolate river.

Let it cool on the counter for an hour or two.

Sprinkle with the sea salt and then refrigerate overnight.

Then you cut it up and package it for Teacher Appreciation week and get it the hell out of your house as fast as you can.

I said hell.

Sorry Mrs. Garrett.

Salted Chocolate Caramel Bars

THE CRUST

9 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature, plus more for parchment

1/4 cup packed light-brown sugar

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon table salt

CHOCOLATE CARAMEL

10 1/2 ounces milk chocolate, chopped (2 cups)

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

1/4 cup water

6 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 cup heavy cream

1/2 teaspoon table salt

1 tablespoon coarse sea salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Make the crust: Line a 9-inch square baking pan with parchment, leaving an overhang on all sides; butter parchment, excluding overhang. Beat butter and brown sugar on medium speed until pale and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add flour and table salt, and beat until just combined.

Press dough evenly into pan, and bake until lightly browned, about 30 minutes.

Make the chocolate caramel: Place chocolate in a medium bowl. Heat granulated sugar and water in a small saucepan over medium-high heat, washing sides of pan with a wet pastry brush to prevent sugar crystals from forming, until amber, 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from heat. Add butter, cream, and table salt. Bring to a boil, stirring until smooth. Pour over chocolate. Let stand for 2 minutes. Stir to combine, and let stand until cool, about 10 minutes.

Pour mixture over crust. Refrigerate at least 4 hours, or overnight. Run a knife around edges; lift parchment to remove whole bar from pan. Sprinkle with sea salt. Trim edges, and cut into 16 bars. Bars can be refrigerated for up to 3 days.

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About Janice

I am 40 years old. Loving life and (finally) being a grown up. I have 3 great kids that sometimes make me want to drink copious amounts of wine. I have been married to my amazing husband since 2001. I have more great girlfriends than you can shake the proverbial stick at. Join me in this adventure that is my life.
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2 Responses to Salty Chocolate Caramel Tears Of Joy

  1. Candice says:

    This is rediculous! Two months post baby and you are not making my job of losing the extra 20+ lbs any easier. So good!!!!

  2. Jennifer says:

    I’m Okay You’re Okay is all about communication and stuff… lol I had to read that back in high school… I own a copy, if you ever want to read it! 😉

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