Just go ahead and buy yourselves a bigger pair of pants.
So I threw out this ‘Lose Five Pounds By Thanksgiving’ challenge on Facebook and holy crap, 27 of my friends jumped on it. So now we keep each other accountable and post what we eat and our exercise and if we have drank our water for the day. So far it is great and everyone is all up in the weight loss biz.
It is day 2.
And then I promised one of the guys I work with that I would make some chicken chili for a meeting he is having at his house and I decide to be nice and make some cornbread too.
This is special cornbread my friends. Some people like to call it spoon bread. I call it ‘makes your stomach flop over the waistband of your jeans immediately’ bread. Or ‘hey when did my belt shrink?’ bread. There’s also the ever popular ‘have to lift my belly up with both hands to make it up the stairs now’ bread.
2 sticks of butter, go ahead and melt it.
2 boxes of Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix. You know the kind. It’s in the blue box that has neither updated it’s design nor gone up in price since 1964.
42 cents at Walmart girls.
FORTY TWO CENTS
2 cans of whole kernal corn, drained.
Remember my motto….
“Buy the store brand”
Don’t get all up in my face crazy with the Libby’s or the Del Monte.
2 cans of cream style corn.
I know it looks disgusting, like throw up or baby poop, sorry, it is relevant to the recipe.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
Speaking of poop, I have to share with you guys the funniest Facebook Status I have ever seen.
Posted by a friend of mine on election day:
“Voting, kind of like trying to decide which of two turds to eat first.”
Died laughing at that.
Do you think there is actually cream in cream style corn?
Add the melted butter.
At this point you would also add 2 eggs.
Unless you forgot.
Then you would just add the sour cream and continue on your merry, eggless way.
The accidental elimination of the eggs did not in any way affect the outcome, so they will from now on be considered an optional ingredient.
Like the handful of chopped nuts that people like to throw into everything.
Use a metal cake pan for this recipe. And spray the heck out of it.
Load it up. It will weigh about 7 lbs.
Bake it at 350 degrees for about an hour and 10 minutes. This is the amount of time that I bake mine, your oven might take a little more time or little less. Check it after an hour. It should be a nice golden color.
Don’t worry about the cracks.
Unless you’re a plumber.
So normally if I was baking something for you, I wouldn’t just cut into it and eat a piece.
But I had to show you guys.
I was about to take a bite, so I could describe it to you in great detail.
And then I remembered I had this.
It’s an optional ingredient.
Like the eggs…….
Bring this delightfulness to your in laws for Thanksgiving.
And tell them I said hello and I hope that they like my ‘no it is not a stomach sleeve tattoo, it is just the gouged flesh from the waistband of my tight pants’ bread.
Corn Spoon Bread
(The recipe in this post was doubled–the following is a single batch and needs to be baked in an 8×8 pan)
1 Box Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix
1 stick melted butter
8 oz sour cream (1 cup)
1 can whole kernal corn (drained)
1 can cream style corn
2 eggs (kind of optional)
Mix all ingredients and pour into well greased 8×8 pan.
Bake at 350 for at least an hour. May need to bake an additional 5-10 minutes.
Buy new pants.