The Weasel & The Giveaway Winner

Congratulations to Kristin! She is the winner of the Guideposts subscription giveaway.

Hope you are blessed by it!

Ok.

So I was reading this story on a message board today about how this squirrel got into this lady’s house and just tore the hello out of it. It was so bad she thought they had been robbed. There was apparently things overturned, broken & blood everywhere (apparently the squirrel cut it’s mouth while gnawing on the window frames).

This lady so believed that an intruder had been present that she ran out and called the police.

Who then showed up and the squirrel went all crazy hissing and stuff.

Can you imagine?

I was like-no way this happened.

It sounds made up.

And then from the recesses of my memory…..

I can’t believe that I forgot about the weasel that moved into our house when I was about 8-9.

People.

It was crazy.

Apparently got in through the dryer vent, although who knows because we lived in an old farmhouse with all sorts of crevices that a weasel could fit through.

At first we blamed general kitchen disarray on the occupants of the house and also the dogs.

Until.

My mom could not come up with a plausible explanation for the stash of chicken bones in her underwear drawer.

Really.

I am totally not kidding you. I can still recall her puzzlement at finding half a dozen or so chicken bones in with her unmentionables.

Was this a haunting?

Well this weirdness went on for a couple of weeks and then I guess the weasel started to feel more at home. He got kind of brave and rather territorial. We would happen upon him in the kitchen and he would stand on his hind legs and ‘scold’ us.

Can I just tell you right now people?

Weasels are mean.

They have fangs and hiss.

It got really bad. Because the weasel got some sort of Alpha Weasel dominance complex. And his gentle scoldings got more violent and hiss-like.

Did I mention the fangs?

 

From Wikipedia:

“Weasels are mammals forming the genus Mustela of the Mustelidae family.  They are small, active predators, long and slender with short legs.

Weasels vary in length from 12 to 45 centimetres (5 to 18 in), and usually have a red or brown upper coat and a white belly; some populations of some species moult to a wholly white coat in winter. They have long slender bodies, which enable them to follow their prey into burrows. Their tails may be from 22 to 33 centimetres (9 to 13 in) long. As is typical of small omnivores, weasels have a reputation for cleverness and guile.

Weasels feed on small mammals, and have from time to time been considered vermin since some species took poultry from farms, or rabbits from commercial warrens. Certain species of weasel and ferrets have been reported to perform the mesmerizing weasel war dance, after fighting other creatures, or acquiring food from competing creatures. In folklore at least, this dance is particularly associated with the stoat.

Weasels occur all across the world except for Antarctica, Australia and the neighboring islands.”

I know he looks real cute here, but did you read the part about eating rabbits and chickens and THE WEASEL DANCE OF WAR!?!?!

Other members of the Mustelidae family are the fisher, the badger, the polecat (HELLO–SKUNK) and the wolverine.

The wolverine!

We had a wolverine living in our house eating our chicken and hiding the bones among my moms Vanity Fair high cut briefs.

I think my brother eventually killed it with the old Clark Griswold method.

I’m gonna catch it in the coat… And smack it with the hammer.

 

That’s all I got foks.

That’s all I got.

 

 

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About Janice

I am 40 years old. Loving life and (finally) being a grown up. I have 3 great kids that sometimes make me want to drink copious amounts of wine. I have been married to my amazing husband since 2001. I have more great girlfriends than you can shake the proverbial stick at. Join me in this adventure that is my life.
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7 Responses to The Weasel & The Giveaway Winner

  1. Kristin says:

    I am so excited to win the magazine subscription…and I am just giggling about the weasel story.

  2. sue says:

    Whoa, they are cute…but only when they stay outside, where they belong. I would so not want one in my house. You were all lucky that the weasel didn’t bite any of you.Right now, my cat is sitting behind me, looking out the window and chattering at the birds. Death to birds, oh let me catch you and kill you is what his little chatters translate into. My dear little cat, Boo, is a sweet guy, but I am not a bird or a mouse. Animals can sometimes be scary, can’t they?

  3. Cousin Mary says:

    Panama Jack killed a weasel? Can’t picture it.

  4. Sister Cindy says:

    Glad I was gone by then, but I remember the pet squirrel Barney had, until it got loose in the house. Never did find it. They wouldn’t let us get a cat, but a squirrel never bothered them… Yikes. More therapy needed.

  5. iva j. garrison says:

    I found a body of a baby something in my small pond out back. I finally found that it is a weasel. I don’t remember ever seeing a weasel around here. I did have a ferret many years ago and I first thought this was a ferret but looking at the pictures I think it is a weasel. If there is a baby weasel here there has to be a mama somewhere close. Do they live in trees? There is a big wild cherry tree right beside the pond where I found the baby. We had a bad storm this past Sunday and the wind was violent so maybe it just fell into the pond.

    As cute as they are I don’t want them around here. I have four pet rabbits that I let out when the weather is warm and I don’t want them to be food for the weasels. How do you get rid of them? (killing if necessary)

    • Janice says:

      I think they can live in the holes in the tree, or under rocks/big roots, the only one I saw lived in my moms underwear drawer apparently. They will eat your rabbits, chickens too if you have them. Maybe set some traps? You might need to call a professional.

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