Remember when Dan Quayle spelled potato wrong?
Clearly he was no spelling bee champion like yours truly, even if I did get knocked out of regionals by the tricky tricky word pendulum. Which, by the way I used spell check to write in this post, because I am still not 100% sure.
My pants are tight.
And that folks, is a sad state of affairs because I am wearing exercise (hahahahaha) pants which are mostly, you know, lycra.
Also, they are less likely to be used for exercise and more likely to be worn when you eat too much soup and a regular waist band would cut your circulation off.
They should be called ‘Sit around and let your gut hang out in comfort’ pants.
Maybe just ‘Gut Pants’ for short.
SO anyways, beware of this soup because it can make your fat pants feel like skinny jeans.
Funny, because all the ingredients look wholesome and healthy, kinda like Lindsey Lohan when she starred in the Parent Trap remake. Look how that turned out.
Parent Trap (the original, wholesome Hayley Mills version) remains an unparalleled favorite of mine.
So you start with mostly healthiness.
Potatoes (only use the ‘e’ when plural Mr. Quayle, Duh), celery, garlic, onion, corn and celery.
Thought I needed carrots for some reason, but that turned out to be a big fat waste of time peeling them because they are nowhere to be found in this recipe. Guess I’ll save them for a midnight snack or something.
Saute your onions, garlic and celery together with a tablespoon of olive oil and a tablespoon of butter. Let it go about 5 minutes.
Total rabbit trail here, but whenever I saute onions and garlic, Mr. Right ambles around muttering ‘that smells good’ and I always say ‘it’s your favorite, onions and garlic’. No matter what the onions and garlic are going into, he says that
Which makes me wonder why Yankee candle or Salt City or SOMEBODY does not manufacture an onion and garlic candle.
“Bestseller, right there.”
(Read that in the voice of Larry the Cable Guy please)
Add the chicken broth and bring to a boil.
Reduce heat and add the potatoes. Cook on low for about 20-25 minutes.
Add the corn and a little freshly ground black pepper. Hold off on the salt because you are adding the gravy mix packet and that can be salty enough. Stir it up and let it go for a minute or two.
You could leave these out, but they add a nice little spice and I highly recommend them.
Take 2-3 cups out of the pot and transfer to your blender. Puree and add back to soup pot. This will thicken your soup without adding extra fat.
But we are gonna do that too.
Mix up your gravy packet with 1 1/2 cup milk. I use skim, because I like to cut fat when I can in order to make room for more important fat.
Use Monterey Jack cheese because it melts super smooth. Like Dan Quayle smooth.
Now this is delightful just as it is.
But let’s make it a little more special.
Again. Healthy turkey bacon baked in the oven. Of course, you non health nuts are free to use thick cut, hickory smoked regular bacon or even chopped ham.
Turkey bacon only over here at the house of health.
Enjoy with an icy cold Blue Moon and a fresh orange slice.
Speaking of oranges, is there an orange shortage? Because I was at Smiths yesterday buying Blue Moon to send to a friend (honest) and I went to get an orange and there were about 13 sickly looking oranges available. Then today I had to send Mr. Right to the store to get some Blue Moon for us (because I couldn’t stop thinking about how perfectly it goes with soup) and he texts me from the grocery store. That he texted me in and of itself is not odd becuase anytime he goes to the grocery store he has to text me. “What color onion?’, ‘They don’t have that flavor of Ben & Jerry’s”, What are capers and where are they?”, but this text said ‘No oranges for the Blue Moon”.
Which leads me to believe there is an orange shortage.
Good thing I picked up that bag f clementines at Trader Joes the other day.
Ate 3 bowls and feel like I am going to explode.
Like a potatoe that’s been in the microwave too long.
SPELL CHECK, DAN!
CHEESY POTATOE CORN CHOWDER
In large saucepan, melt margarine over medium high heat. Add celery and onion; cook and stir until tender, about 5 minutes.
Add chicken broth; bring to a boil. Add potatoes; cook over low heat for 20 to 25 minutes or until potatoes are soft, stirring occasionally.
Remove 2-3 cups from pot and puree in blender and then return to pot.
Stir in corn and chiles; return to boiling. Dissolve gravy mix in milk; stir into boiling mixture. Add cheese; cook and stir over low heat until cheese is melted.
Change into your exercise pants before eating.