Corn & Potatoes & Cheese! OH MY!

Remember when Dan Quayle spelled potato wrong?

hahahahahaha

Clearly he was no spelling bee champion like yours truly, even if I did get knocked out of regionals by the tricky tricky word pendulum. Which, by the way I used spell check to write in this post, because I am still not 100% sure.

Man.

My pants are tight.

And that folks, is a sad state of affairs because I am wearing exercise (hahahahaha) pants which are mostly, you know, lycra.

Also, they are less likely to be used for exercise and more likely to be worn when you eat too much soup and a regular waist band would cut your circulation off.

They should be called ‘Sit around and let your gut hang out in comfort’ pants.

Maybe just ‘Gut Pants’ for short.

SO anyways, beware of this soup because it can make your fat pants feel like skinny jeans.

Funny, because all the ingredients look wholesome and healthy, kinda like Lindsey Lohan when she starred in the Parent Trap remake. Look how that turned out.

Parent Trap (the original, wholesome Hayley Mills version) remains an unparalleled favorite of mine.

Ok.

So you start with mostly healthiness.

Potatoes (only use the ‘e’ when plural Mr. Quayle, Duh), celery, garlic, onion, corn and celery.

Thought I needed carrots for some reason, but that turned out to be a big fat waste of time peeling them because they are nowhere to be found in this recipe. Guess I’ll save them for a midnight snack or something.

Super healthiness.

Saute your onions, garlic and celery together with a tablespoon of olive oil and a tablespoon of butter. Let it go about 5 minutes.

Total rabbit trail here, but whenever I saute onions and garlic, Mr. Right ambles around muttering ‘that smells good’ and I always say ‘it’s your favorite, onions and garlic’. No matter what the onions and garlic are going into, he says that

Every. Time.

Which makes me wonder why Yankee candle or Salt City or SOMEBODY does not manufacture an onion and garlic candle.

“Bestseller, right there.”

(Read that in the voice of Larry the Cable Guy please)

Add the chicken broth and bring to a boil.

Reduce heat and add the potatoes. Cook on low for about 20-25 minutes.

Add the corn and a little freshly ground black pepper. Hold off on the salt because you are adding the gravy mix packet and that can be salty enough. Stir it up and let it go for a minute or two.

You could leave these out, but they add a nice little spice and I highly recommend them.

Take 2-3 cups out of the pot and transfer to your blender. Puree and add back to soup pot. This will thicken your soup without adding extra fat.

Oh.

But we are gonna do that too.

Mix up your gravy packet with 1 1/2 cup milk. I use skim, because I like to cut fat when I can in order to make room for more important fat.

Like this.

Use Monterey Jack cheese because it melts super smooth. Like Dan Quayle smooth.

Now this is delightful just as it is.

But let’s make it a little more special.

Again. Healthy turkey bacon baked in the oven. Of course, you non health nuts are free to use thick cut, hickory smoked regular bacon or even chopped ham.

Turkey bacon only over here at the house of health.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Enjoy with an icy cold Blue Moon and a fresh orange slice.

Speaking of oranges, is there an orange shortage? Because I was at Smiths yesterday buying Blue Moon to send to a friend (honest) and I went to get an orange and there were about 13 sickly looking oranges available. Then today I had to send Mr. Right to the store to get some Blue Moon for us (because I couldn’t stop thinking about how perfectly it goes with soup) and he texts me from the grocery store. That he texted me in and of itself is not odd becuase anytime he goes to the grocery store he has to text me. “What color onion?’, ‘They don’t have that flavor of Ben & Jerry’s”,  What are capers and where are they?”, but this text said ‘No oranges for the Blue Moon”.

Which leads me to believe there is an orange shortage.

Good thing I picked up that bag f clementines at Trader Joes the other day.

Ate 3 bowls and feel like I am going to explode.

Like a potatoe that’s been in the microwave too long.

SPELL CHECK,  DAN!

Spell.

Check.

CHEESY POTATOE CORN CHOWDER

1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup chopped onion
2 (14.5 ounce) cans chicken broth
3 cups peeled and cubed potatoes
2 (15 ounce) cans whole kernel corn (drained)
1 (4 ounce) can diced green chiles
1 (2.5 ounce) package country style
gravy mix
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese

In large saucepan, melt margarine over medium high heat. Add celery and onion; cook and stir until tender, about 5 minutes.

Add chicken broth; bring to a boil. Add potatoes; cook over low heat for 20 to 25 minutes or until potatoes are soft, stirring occasionally.

Remove 2-3 cups from pot and puree in blender and then return to pot.

Stir in corn and chiles; return to boiling. Dissolve gravy mix in milk; stir into boiling mixture. Add cheese; cook and stir over low heat until cheese is melted.

Change into your exercise pants before eating.

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Posted in Cooking | 2 Comments

Pumpkin Spice Doughnuts

OK!

Oops--forgot the vanilla and baking powder in this picture.

I know I have totally slacked off on posting this month, but it has been busy. Plus, we had to have our house re plumbed because the builders used some faulty pipe fitting thing and so I have had major construction here all week. Literally, my whole house was wrapped in plastic and I made fast friends with a guy named Mo. No oven, no dishwasher and no washing machine for the better part of a week.

AND….I was in a chili cook off at the church. Lost by 6 votes and then we come home and Mr. Right is saying how good the winners chili was. I was like “Did you vote for that chili?”

Deer.

In.

The.

Headlights.

I would definitely win a doughnut making contest or sure, plus this recipe totally makes up for my lack of October posting.

These are that good!

I used 3/4 cup of whole wheat in the recipe, plus subbed applesauce for the oil or added extra healthiness.

No way around the melted butter though. Sorry. If anyone discovers a suitable substitute for melted butter, call me ASAP.

Margarine is not acceptable.

Of course it helps if you have an enthusiastic assistant helping you with the doughnuts.

It will go so much more smoothly with help.

I promise.

Mix your dry ingredients together. I upped the spice amount, because I love spicy baked stuff.

Mix your wet ingredients and your brown sugar together. Use a whisk and just mix until combined or you will emulsify (or something) the pumpkin and they won’t bake. I know it’s a weird phenomenon, but I have seen it personally. It happened about 6 years ago with a different, but equally enthusiastic assistant.

You could use a muffin pan if you do not have a doughnut pan. You could also use a mini doughnut or mini muffin pan because mini always = less calories.

Remember these are baked and not fried, so they are super healthy. OH! And the whole wheat flour and applesauce, I forgot pumpkin is considered a super food too! Now I don’t feel so badly for eating two as fast as I could.

After baking, let them cool for a few minutes.

While they are cooling, mix your cinnamon and sugar together (heavy on the cinnamon) and melt your butter.

About this time, my assistant abandoned me to help Mr. Right clean out the garage. Approximately 4 minutes later she took a fish hook to the thumb and was back by my side.

Dip the doughnuts in the melted butter and attempt to shake off the excess. Dredge them back and forth in the cinnamon sugar mix until completely coated.

Eat as fast as you can

Have a great weekend! Off to walk the naughty dog and work off the doughnuts. I am thinking 2.5 miles per doughnut?

 

PUMPKIN SPICE DOUGHNUTS

For Donuts:
1 3/4 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1/8 teaspoons ground cloves
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup milk

For Coating:
1/2 cup butter, melted
2/3 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cinnamon

Preheat oven 35o degrees

Spray your doughnut/muffin pan and set aside.

In a bowl, mix flour, baking powder, salt and spices together and set aside.

In a large bowl  whisk together oil, brown sugar, egg, vanilla, pumpkin and milk until combined. Slowly add the dry ingredients into the mixture and stir until just combined, careful not to over mix.

Fill each donut cup with the batter.  The donut cups should be fairly full, but not overflowing. Bake for 12-15 minutes, until donuts spring back when gently pressed (if you’re using a mini donut/muffin pan, allow them to bake for 9-10 minutes).  Turn donuts out onto a wire rack and allow to cool for a few minutes.

While the donuts are cooling, melt butter in one bowl and combine the sugar and cinnamon in another.  When donuts are still warm, quickly dip each donut in melted butter, then coat in the cinnamon-sugar mixture.  Serve immediately.

If you’re not going to serve the donuts immediately, you can bake them up to a day in advance and store them in an airtight container.  Do not coat them in the butter/cinnamon-sugar mixture until just before serving or they may get soggy.


Posted in Baking | Leave a comment

Chubby Hubby Bars

**IMPORTANT UPDATE**

Ok.

So.

I wrote this last week, like 8 days ago and am just getting around to putting the pictures in and posting.

You guys, I am crazy busy!

Some of the info is outdated, cause now the Packers are 6-0. And the game I was going to is over and the ebay jerkwad guy never did send my tickets, so we found a local ticket broker and had a fabulous time.

I think you are caught up now.

Proceed….

Holy Fabulous Recipes!!!!

If I never eat another cookie again, I will die happy.

Not really, but you know what I mean….

I must apologize in advance for those of you with peanut allergies. My poor sweet friends, you should just skip this whole post.

OR

Substitute plain M&M’s for the mini Reese’s cups.

Genius.

Made these for the Packer game last week and they were a big hit. Good thing I sent the leftovers home with friends or my pants would be splitting right down the butt seam.

Speaking of the Packers (Did you know they are 5-0?!?!?!) I am heading out on a red eye tonight and arriving in Green Bay tomorrow for the game on Sunday. A red eye flight always sounds like a good idea until the day you actually have to leave. I am a little nervous because I ordered the tickets off of ebay and they are not here yet. Come On Fed Ex guy!

Anyways

Basic cookie dough.

Then you add some magical ingredients.

Ok, maybe not so magical, but very sugary and chewy and salty sweet!

Break up some pretzels. Don’t crush them, just break into pieces.

Add an 8 oz bag of mini peanut butter cups, the Barbie doll sized ones (as if Barbie could eat Reese’s Cups and still fit into her pants). If you have peanut allergies you could sub 1 1/2 cups plain M&Ms or if you are lucky enough to live by a Trader Joes, they have these little teeny tiny caramel cups that would also be amazing.

Spread the goodness in a greased 9 x 13. I recommend a metal pan for cookie type bars, glass does not seem to bake them correctly. Bake for about 25-30 minutes. Err on the longer time so the middle gets done.

Ok, No pictures of the next steps because friends were arriving for the game and I was hurrying.

So just picture in your mind.

If you haven’t lost it like me.

Make sure the cookies are completely cooled. This involves patience and waiting and you know what Tom Petty says. However, if you are a normal person, you will have consumed a couple of spoonfuls of the dough to tide you over.

Unwrap a bag of kraft caramels and melt them in the microwave with a tablespoon of water. I usually melt for a minute, stir, repeat until the caramel is pourable. Pour over the cooled cookie bars and smear it around so the surface is covered.  Stick them in the fridge for about 15 minutes and let the caramel set, unless you are absorbed in the first quarter of the Packer game. Then you just forget about them until half time.

Melt two cups of semi sweet chocolate chips, which pretty much equals the whole bag. Spread on the top. Sit on your hands for about 15-20 minutes until the chocolate sets.

Dig In.

Die Happy.

 

CHUBBY HUBBY BARS

Ingredients

  • 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
  • 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, room temp
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup white sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tsp coarse sea salt
  • 1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped pretzels
  • 1 (8oz) bag of Reese’s Mini cups (or 2 cups coarsely chopped full sized Reese’s) (Or 1.5 cups plain M&M’s)
  • 1 (14 oz) bag of caramels, unwrapped
  • 1 Tbsp water
  • 2 cups semi sweet chocolate chips, melted

DIRECTIONS

  1. Preheat oven to 350
  2. Spray a 9×13 pan  with cooking spray.
  3. Beat together your butter and sugars until light and fluffy.
  4. Add eggs and vanilla, mix until incorporated.
  5. Add in your salt, baking soda and flour, mixing until just combined.
  6. Add in your Reeses and Pretzels, mixing until evenly distributed.
  7. Spread in your  pan and bake for 25 minutes.
  8. Let cool completely. Approx 30 minutes to an hour.
  9. When cooled, melt your caramels and 1 Tbsp water in a microwave safe bowl stirring every minute until melted.
  10. Pour over your bars.
  11. Chill in fridge for 15 minutes to set caramel.
  12. Melt your chocolate chips in a double boiler or microwave and spread over caramel.
  13. Put back in the fridge for at least 30 minutes or until chocolate is set.
  14. Cut into squares when ready to serve.
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

ALOOOOOOHA

WooooHOoooo!

It’s Thrift Share Monday and I am linking up with Apron Thrift Girl for a treasure sharing time!

The theme this past weekend was Hawaii. My personal feeling is that some very old Hawaiian person passed away, probably a cute little old man because in addition to my glass goodies, I found several vintage Hawaiian shirts as well. They will head to ebay. I paid $4-5 each and will sell them for $30-$40. My personal favorite was a pink flamingo number. I sooo wanted Mr. Right to wear it and drink mai tais out of one of these fabulous glasses but he was not as enthusiastic about my Hawaiian bounty as he should be.

Something about glass hoarding and hating vintage glasses and they are everywhere in the house and if I live to be 100 I won’t be able to drink out of them all.

While, I did not have the ingredients on hand for mai tais (shocker-I know) I did pull these out last night and fill them with red wine and rum & cokes for the Packer game.

And I have to admit I’d take a Packer jersey over a Hawaiian shirt any day of the week!

BIG shameless Green Bay Brag….

5-0 baby!

5-0

Ok.

Sorry.

The glasses are marked siesta ware. They are Tom Collins glasses, but I have no idea what goes in a Tom Collins and I think that they should be filled with an islandy, coconutty, pineappley concoction.

They were priced  little on the high side at $1.50 each but love conquers all and I DO love these. The teak wrapping on some of them is splitting, probably from age. I think they date from 50’s-60’s and they conjure up all sorts of images of cool vintage luau-going people.

LOVE

These were only 79 cents each. I can’t find a mark anywhere. They are going to ebay as I don’t love the whole Brady Bunch curse of Kamehameha looking guy on the front.

Not sure what I will price them at, but vintage tiki stuff does pretty well so I am sure it will be a nice profit.

Do you love this vintage linen?

I can hardly wait to have some kind of luau theme party this spring.

Of course I can only invite 4 people because I only have 6 of my fabulous glasses.

Oh!

I could totally kick Mr. Right out since he doesn’t love them and invite someone fun instead!

Or I can find some more on ebay………

Maybe I could keep them at the neighbors house?

Have a fabulous week! Check back later because I have an amazing new cookie/bar recipe for you. It will literally pop the buttons right off your pants and make you fall in love with the elastic waistband.

GO PACK GO

Posted in thrift, Thrift Store Finds, vintage | 2 Comments

OCTOBER! HOLLA!

Can’t believe it is a week into October and I haven’t posted!

Super slacking in October I guess.

Had a very relaxing time putting out the Halloween decorations last night with the kids.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Super relaxed after that.

Of course we are starting to map out our plans for this year’s scarecrow. A trip to Savers is in order to find him/her something to wear and I’ll have to remember to grab the bag of shredded paper from the office and be sure that the vacuum cleaner is in good working order.

Oh! And two puppies in the scarecrow making mix this year.

Hmmmmm

How much wine will this require?

Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies

Made these the other day. I regret using mini chips, they just don’t pack enough chocolate punch, know what I mean? I think mini chips are only good for pancakes.

You want to use realllllly ripe bananas. Like gross, black ones. They have the most banana flavor, awful looking though they are.

I suppose I should have made pumpkin cookies, but I had 3 black bananas and I LOVE a good chocolate chip banana cookie.

PSA (Public Service Announcement for you slower folks):

There is a pumpkin shortage this year. Buy your pumpkins early for carving and buy your canned pumpkin early for baking or you will end up buying it from the pumpkin profiteers on ebay.

Of which I am one.

Back to the banana cookies….

Big mistake

Looooove butter & sugar!

LOVE. IT.

I used super healthy whole wheat flour. Next time I am using half white and half whole wheat. The whole wheat sucks some of the moisture out of these. Of course you wouldn’t notice the lack of moisture so much if you used regular sized chocolate chips.

Regret.

See what I mean?!?!?!?!

Stupid Mini Chips So-I am trying to get back into the bloggin thing. Max is reading this as I type, which kind of gets on my nerves.

True story.

I already have 2-3 new recipes lined up for next week and a fabulous fall craft, PLUS a super duper awesome thrift share….. so keep checking back!

BANANA CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup white sugar
2/3 cup butter, softened
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup mashed bananas
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Use parchment paper covered cookie sheets for best results. Sift the flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda together, and set aside.

Cream the butter with the sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs and vanilla. Mix in the mashed bananas. Add the flour mixture, and stir until just combined. Stir in the chocolate chips. Drop by spoonfuls onto prepared cookie sheets.

Bake in preheated oven for 10-12 minutes or until they turn golden.

 

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Pyrex & Starbucks

YAY!! It’s thrift share Monday and I am linking up with Apron Thrift Girl for the thrifty par-tay.

Finally!

A Butterprint bowl. I have been waiting anxiously for one of these to appear on the thrift store shelf and this past Friday was the magic day!

Best $2.50 I ever spent!

Makes me so happy, even though Mr. Right has mentioned that I am turning into a bit of a bowl hoarder. I already used my new pretty! I brought it home from the thrift washed it right up and immediately put it to good use making frosting for these cookies.

Everything tastes better when made in a vintage bowl.

Scored some Starbucks mugs for 39 cents each. These are for ebay. The white one is listed for $11 and the two brown ones together for $18. Not huge sales but great profit.

Wishing you all a lovely thrifty week!

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

These Will Melt in Your Mouth…..

And stick to your butt.

Oh my! These are so delightful. It is 6am, still dark outside and I am giving it my all not to hop off the couch and eat one right now.

What harm could one more do after the double digit number I ate yesterday?

So yesterday was apparently the first day of fall, which I have FOREVAH thought that the 21st was the first day of fall, but then Fox 5 weather man says it was yesterday. So I throw out on facebook isn’t it the 21st and half the people think so and the other half say no it is the 23rd. I looked up the almanac and it was pretty confusing with equinox and moon tide, sun shifting mumbo jumbo, so I am going to stick to my conviction that it is the 21st, but shall also celebrate it on the 23rd!

A bonus holiday!

Ok. So I wanted to bake (it being the first fake day of fall and all) and this recipe has been haunting me since I saw a picture of these on a website. You see, I adore cookies. Mostly any kind of cookie will do. In fact I am thinking next year of doing one new cookie recipe each week for the blog. What do you think?

Back to my cookie love (OH-except for Oatmeal raisin or any cookie involving raisins. No raisin love) If there is one thing better than a cookie, it is a FROSTED cookie. These have a brown sugar icing! It reminds me of the brown sugar bordeaux candies from See’s. If you have never had a See’s candy, you should log on right now and order a one pound box.

Seriously, GO!

So I drag out all my baking paraphernalia and it kinda makes me laugh because I am back on weight watchers (except for the eleventy thousand cookies yesterday) and I have to measure my wine so my measuring cup is all stained purple.

This is a tupperware measuring cup and they are my absolute favorites except Mr. Right lost the 1 Cup and it is nowhere to be found and of course he denies it, but I know it was him because who else could it be?

Plus he (guiltily) bought me a new set for Mothers Day and I am sure he thinks they are all cool because they expand and contract, but I do not love them.

At all.

I so do not love them in fact, that I will just use my 1/2 cup and double up the scoops to equal full cups when baking.

Ok.

Done with weird measuring cup segue.

These cookies definitely smell like fall!

I tripled the batch and gave a bunch away.

I am kinda wishing I had kept them now.

It starts out like any basic sugar cookie recipe except subbing brown sugar for white.

You probably have all the ingredients on hand. Brown sugar, butter, eggs, flour (I did half white & half whole wheat for healthiness purposes) sour cream, baking soda and powdered sugar. You actually don’t need the vanilla. I just anticipated vanilla use in this recipe and after I discovered there was no use for it, the picture was already taken.

Cream the butter and brown sugar.

Add the eggs and the sour cream.

Sneak a little taste of the creamy, grainy, sugary-ness even thoughit contains raw eggs and could potentially, in an alternate universe, cause salmonella.

Mix in your flour. The recipe doesn’t call for it, but I threw in a liberal amount of brown sugar and nutmeg.

I do not know, nor have I ever heard of a single person who contracted salmonella through cookie dough eating.

I do however, remember when there was a big lettuce recall due to ecoli or something, thus proving that it is better to eat raw cookie dough than salad.

Or something like that.

You will probably want to use parchment paper for these because they are kind of delicate.

Let them cool about 10-15 minutes.

NOW……

Brown sugar, melted butter, powdered sugar and milk.

MAGIC

OH!

I can hardly stand this.

One.

Two.

Three!

You know I ate this first one.

Then the 4th or 5th one broke while I was dipping it, so I ate that one too.

And probably the 12th or 13th one. I can’t remember the order any more. I just know that there were a lot. I kinda lost track. I am seriously dying for one right now.

Dying.

Ok.

Here is the recipe. It’s Saturday, you probably don’t have anything better to do, so you should make these.

Now.

Remember, I tripled the batch which I don’t advise unless you have lots of friends or a really great selection of maternity pants on hand.

BROWN SUGAR COOKIES

  • 1/2 cup butter (no substitutes), softened
  • 1 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • BROWN SUGAR FROSTING:
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
  • 2 tablespoons milk
  • 1 cup confectioners’ sugar

In a small mixing bowl, cream butter and brown sugar. Beat in egg and sour cream; mix well. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt; gradually add to creamed mixture and mix well.

Drop by tablespoonfuls 2 in. apart onto greased baking sheets. Bake at 375 degrees F for 11-15 minutes or until golden brown. Remove to wire racks to cool.

For frosting, mix brown & powdered sugar together. Melt butter in microwave and add to sugar mixture. Add milk and mix to spreadable/dippable consistency. You can add more milk to thin it out or more powdered sugar to thicken up.

Dip cookies and eat!

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment