Makin Whoopee

Pies of course.

Come on you guys! Minds out of gutters.

Holy Heck, I am listening to Ray Charles sing this song (Makin Whoopee) right now and it is killing me. I think I need a Ray Charles cd or something. If I had to pick 3 artists to sing to me on a deserted island I would pick Ray, Johnny Cash & Rick Springfield of course.

I have just this very second decided that I am going to listen to Ray Charles sing different songs the whole time I write this post. Every time a new song starts I’ll put it in parenthesis so you’ll feel closer to me. (Georgia on My Mind) His voice is so soothing. Especially considering my yelling kids and chewing, barking dogs which drive me so absolutely crazy that I had to mix up a little wine cooler to get through the rest of the day.

(My Bonnie) Since I last posted, I have survived a trip to Disneyland, taken another trip to Kingman where I fell over my sister’s fence and almost broke my kneecaps, had both of my love seat cushions chewed to bits by two naughty dogs and got chased by two coyotes (more on that next week in ‘The Great Coyote Attack of 2012).

So it just seemed that (What’d I Say) since I didn’t really have to leave the house today it would be a great reason to make whoopee.

Pies.

Again with the Pervy McPervesons…

This is what you’ll need for the pie (cake?) part.

Oh and some ‘sour milk’

Sour milk is simply 1 cup milk with a tablespoon of lemon juice or vinegar added and mixed up in a Hamburgler glass.

You need a holy lot of Crisco for this recipe. (Hit The Road Jack)

Cream the Crisco and white sugar together. SO snowy white. Like the blizzard last week in Wisconsin. Hellooooo. It’s March.

Then you add the eggs and the sour milk and it kinda looks like Cream of Wheat, but grosser.

Is grosser a word or should I have said “more gross’?

Then you mix up your dry ingredients EXCEPT the baking soda in a separate bowl. (I’ve Got A Woman)

Add the dry mix to the Cream of Wheat.

Stir it till your arm falls off.

Or till it looks like this.

Have I mentioned that my kids drive me crazy?

Now take your baking soda and add a cup of HOT water to it. Hopefully you are fortunate enough (like me) to have the hottest tap water in the world so you won’t have to microwave it or anything.

I have eaten soups that were cooler than my tap water.

Add the hot water mixture to the fudgy batter (Mess Around)

Super shiny batter because of the Crisco I think.

Go ahead and have a lick.

Drop by tablespoonfuls onto parchment lined cookie sheets. They come out kind of ginormous and I switched to heaping teaspoons by the third batch.

Now this first batch I used a new age, 21st century insulated bakeware type cookie sheet and these stinkers turned out flat like regular cookies.

The next batch I used my trusty (albeit not as shiny) aluminum pan from Nineteen seventy something.

They came out all puffy and PERFECT and then I had an epiphany. WHY would you make insulated bakeware if in fact the recipe is to be baked at a certain temperature? Why would your treats need to be insulated from the proper heat source needed to make them turn out like they are supposed to?

The evidence. Ok. So they don’t look all that different in the photo (probably due to my super photography skills) but trust me, huge difference.

I am DONE with insulated bakeware. (Somewhere Over The Rainbow-OMG Judy G. got NUTHIN on Ray)

As soon as I am done writing this, I am going on ebay and buying some old 1970 cookie sheets.

Perfectly Puffy. Large, but Puffy. This was before I switched to the smaller spoon.

Ok. Once they are all out of the oven and properly cooled off, you can start the filling.

More Crisco. Oh and a little milk and flour which I forgot to put in the picture and I was too super lazy to take another one. ( Your Cheatin Heart)

I know it seems all super weird to add flour to the filling but it totally works.

After the flour, powder sugar, milk and vanilla are all mixed to a creamy loveliness…….

You can use your new super most fabulous EVAH vintage Nineteen Sixty Something Sunbeam mixer to whip your egg whites!!!!

Whazzzzzzzup????

(You Are My Sunshine)

Confession. Recipe said ‘fold egg whites in’ but I totally used the low setting on my NOT vintage mixer.

And I totally know it was extra work to use two mixers but COME ON.

Look.

At.

Her.

Sigh. (America The Beautiful)

The recipe makes a ton of filling, so load them up. It is ok to completely ignore the instruction to use 1 tablespoon per pie.

Ok. Now stick them in the fridge for half an hour or so.

Use the time to put on your stretchy pants and do some jumping jacks or sit ups or something.

Anything.

Cause these will do some damage to your midsection.

Make Whoopee, Not War.

 

Whoopee Pies

1 cup shortening

2 cups white sugar

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 cup sour milk

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 cup hot water

4 cups all-purpose flour

1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 teaspoon salt

Filling

1 1/2 cups shortening

4 cups confectioners’ sugar

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup milk

1 1/2 tablespoons vanilla extract

2 egg whites, beaten

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Grease or parchment cookie sheets.

In a large bowl, cream together 1 cup of shortening and white sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time then stir in the vanilla and sour milk. Combine the flour, cocoa and salt, stir into the creamed mixture. Stir together the baking soda and hot water then mix them into the batter last. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto the prepared cookie sheet.

Bake for 8 minutes in the preheated oven, until firm but not overbaked. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely.

To make the filling: In a medium bowl, cream together the 1 1/2 cups shortening with the confectioners’ sugar and 1/4 cup of flour until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in the milk and vanilla until well mixed, then fold in the egg whites. Sandwich at least 1 tablespoon of filling between the flat sides of two cookies.

For best results, refrigerate 30 minutes before eating. Store in refrigerator.

 

Fast Valentine Update

Hope you all had an awesome Valentines Day! It appears that the curse of 1986 has been broken. (At least for this year)

I was living the Valentine Dream yesterday friends!

Nothing but sugar cookies and Reeses Peanut Butter hearts ALL DAY LONG!

Serious.

That’s all I ate.

Oh and some wine while I watched Real Housewives of the OC.

Mom of the year because I dyed the spaghetti noodles red, lit some cheap candles and ladled out the Strawberry Crush into tiny crystal wineglasses.

Bad light–sorry!

Off to Disneyland tonight for a fun filled 4 days!

And don’t even THINK about burgling my house because I have two vicious animals, a house sitter and Neighbor John standing guard.

Peace Out Valentines! Time to start working on the Leprechaun trap…….

 

 

Love For Sale….Yummy, Happy, Vintage Love For Sale

OMG!

What a vintage weekend!

Went to Kingman to see my sister. LOVE Kingman.

I get my kicks.

60's Danish Modern Buffet. LOVE

On Route 66!

Kingman has Faaaaabulous junk shops and antique shops and the price is ALWAYS right!

I headed there with Mr. Right on Friday while the kids stayed with friends. My nephew was the star in the High School play and he was awesome. Took a nasty cut to the eye during a fake fight scene. Guess they should have wrapped more duct tape around the KNIFE they were using. I was thinking ‘Wow, great fake blood from the makeup department’.

Then Mr. Right headed back home on Saturday morning and I stayed with my sister to go junking, although first she made me go to yoga and I just want you all to know that I don’t love it.

Plus she is the yoga instructor (Yogi?) and so I felt pressured to also be good at yoga and I’m not. I know it looks all relaxing and super stretchy, non painful for old ladies kind of thing but seriously, I am still sore today.

Anyways…..

Was going to show you guys my treasures collected on my blog hiatus, but decided to save that for next Monday. Linking up again with my friends at Apron Thrift Girl for treasure sharing time!

Ok-on to the loot!

I paid $65 for the buffet. It is going in my room. I LOVE it. great shape, needs to be cleaned up with some orange oil. I got it at this place that is an old theater and it is just PACKED with stuff. Piles of stuff. Piles stacked upon piles. Literally. I could see boxes I could not get too and was having anxiety attacks.

I paid an additional $10 total for these next treasures. All from the same place.

Risked life and limb to get to this mixmaster. I saw it in a back room and it was precariously stacked on an end table with a couple other lamps but when I picked it up I realized it was actually an anchor weight keeping this stack of tables from falling down.

Much excitement while I held everything together and yelled for help.

But I got my mixmaster. And it works! Just need to find the large bowl that goes with. Will be checking ebay.

Love the speed settings.

Sweet yellow covered dish, not marked.

I think it is a lemon?

Saving these for St. Patrick’s Day!

I got these sweet Easter glasses at a different shop and I paid $10 for the set which is kind of high but you rarely see vintage Easter goodies.

My sister spied them first and it was touch and go for a few minutes about who was going to get them, but then I reminded her of the time I found the bird plates and relinquished them to her.

Love the colors!

Found these lovely yellow treats at the last shop we visited. Paid $5. I seriously wanted everything in that store. It was a little house built in 1924 and ‘remodeled’ in the 50’s and I wanted to move in and take possession of the formica countertops and the large jadeite collection.

But I left with my ice cream scoop and salt & pepper shakers instead.

In other news, I’ve been sick with upper respiratory junk for about a month, we are leaving for Disneyland on Wednesday and Mr. Right purchased a tent trailer camper thing which I was initially against, but he won me over with this line………

“Think of all the alone time you will have while the kids and I are camping’.

Have a great week!

I’m Baaaaaaaack

Holy Scary Movies!

Redrum! Redrum!

Wow.

It has been like 3 months since I have posted. Not sure what was wrong with me. Just wasn’t feeling it. Maybe writers block, I don’t know. Maybe just lazy. I took some pictures, I swear I had every intention of posting and then, meh, nothing.

And of course, I don’t love January. Such a blah month. Hard to get inspired there. Like, why does it exist? It’s no fun. Unless you have a January birthday or something.

Which I don’t.

I have a GLORIOUS early September birthday.

I tried to really chill out over the holidays and not run around like a crazy headless chicken. I wanted to slow down and savor the season this year. I was semi successful at it.

I tried a few new recipes. One disastrous one for cinnamon roll pancakes. Great theory, but holy heck impossible to keep the cinnamon swirl INSIDE the pancake while flipping. Will just make regular cinnamon rolls next time.

This recipe for soft molasses cookies with white chocolate chips turned out MUCH better!

Completed my Primary colors mixing bowl set!!!

My sister gave me the smallest and most elusive blue bowl for Christmas. You have no idea how happy my mixing bowls make me. I have since found another yellow one, but I think it will be headed to ebay.

Found lots of thrift treasures! Will take some pictures this weekend and show them off on Monday, but her’s my favorite!

In other news, I am heading to Kingman, AZ tonight to see my nephew play Henry the 8th in the senior play. Hanging there with my sis until Sunday which means wine & junking trips!

Will catch up more on Monday! I promise.

Here’s a little taste of the last 3 months……

Taking pictures for our Christmas card. Quick Everybody, out in the backyard!

 

Sleeping by the Christmas Tree was super popular this year!

I think Max took this one.

Mr. Right & I ran away to the mountain for a night.

Super Sketchy Santa.....

Traditional making of the Gnocchis!

Christmas Eve

 

First Swim of 2012

 

Red Velvet Brownies & Thanksgiving Traditions

Before I get into another waistline busting recipe, let’s just talk about Thanksgiving traditions for a minute.

Everyone has their holiday traditions. Every year we get up and watch the parade (upstairs) and football (downstairs) while I finish making the desserts. Around noon we head over to my sister in laws and hang out while dinner finishes. Every year I pray really hard when they put the turkey in the big deep fryer thing in the yard because it scares the bejeezus out of me.

After dinner we hang out then head home around six and my sis gets into town. We all watch Christmas Vacation and drink Tom & Jerry’s or Hot Buttered Rum.

Lovely fun Thanksgiving Traditions.

OH!

Almost forgot that EVERY year I go to the Smiths (Kroger for some of you) on Eastern a few days before Thanksgiving to get the stuff I need and yesterday was the day I went. Grocery stores a couple of days before Thanksgiving are like bars on New Years Eve, except instead of people who never go out all year they are full of people who never cook all year.

They clog up the aisles and wander aimlessly and distract me with their rookie cooking conversation. Really? Celery is NOT a canned vegetable. Try the produce section.

PRODUCE SECTION!

It’s the place where they sell fresh fruit & veggies, otherwise known as PRODUCE.

I avoid the turkey section like the black plague because there are generally 10-12 carts of people debating the merits of Butterball vs Foster Farms.

They are TURKEYS.

From a FARM full of Turkeys. They are not born and bred and AKC registered with weirdo names like Champion Billy Ray Red Feather’s Achy Breaky Heart.

Just a turkey that either ended up hatching (they are not born live are they?) on the  Foster Farm side of the tracks or the Butterball side of the tracks.

Another tradition is that I bring the stuffing/dressing/whichever you call it. I like to make it not from a box so every year (NO, really EVERY year) I struggle like a one legged spider to locate dry unseasoned crouton things. Now I suppose I could be all thrifty and toast my own bread and make my own croutons, but frankly I am lazy and the big bag of them is only $1.99 so that is the route I am going.

Folks, it is like looking for Willy Wonka’s Golden Ticket.

And of course it is the last thing on the list because I can’t FIND it anywhere so I have to maneuver my heavy cart around the store 4-5 times and WHY on earth would people buy the disposable aluminum turkey pans at the grocery store when the Dollar Store has them for, wait for it…..A DOLLAR.

Of course there are 13,476 extra employees crawling up your armpit and into your pocket asking if they can help you and guess what?

THEY CAN’T!

I know this because I finally broke down and asked.

They are NOT by the boxed stuffing, which is a logical first choice don’t you think?

They are NOT near the huge display of Thanksgiving-y things like chicken broth, french fried onions and mountains of jarred gravy.

They are NOT by the bread, another logical placement choice.

They are NOT by the bags of salad croutons, not so logical, but really, where would you look by now?

They are NOT by the gaggle of turkey debaters.

They are NOT by the flour, which is where two of the nice helpful employees told me to look. Close, because that’s where the bread CRUMBS are, but remember I am looking for croutons.

Every year friends. Every year.

And I am pushing my 5,000 pound cart and it is hot because once the temp hits 60 in Vegas people turn the store heat on and all these people are wandering around finding everything they need when they don’t even know how to cook and I am MAD.

And I want to screech out at the top of my lungs WHERE ARE THE !@^($%!@$ DRY UNSEASONED CROUTONS???

But I don’t. I press on and I really don’t want to ask any more employees. I even check the soda aisle on the off chance they might be there, but nope. So, I resolve to go to Albertson’s and find them there and I head to the liquor section for a bottle of wine because by now I am stressed out and red wine lowers your blood pressure I think, so I really needed some.

What do you think I found on an end cap in the WINE section?

Right.

On to happier things like the recipe for these delightful yummies which you will NOT find in a grocery store.

I have used up all my words for the day and I can’t think any more, so I am just posting the pictures and the recipe.

Have a great week!

RED VELVET BROWNIES

• 1 (4-oz.) bittersweet chocolate baking bar, chopped
• 3/4 cup butter
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 large eggs
• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 (1-oz.) bottle red liquid food coloring
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• Small batch Cream Cheese Frosting (I used 1/2 stick butter, 4 ounces cream cheese 2 cups powder sugar-let butter and cream cheese get to room temp and then beat together till creamy. Add powdered sugar and beat till smooth)
• Garnish: white chocolate curls (If you’re fancy)

DIRECTIONS

• 1. Preheat oven to 350°. Line bottom and sides of a 9-inch square pan with aluminum foil, allowing 2 to 3 inches to extend over sides; lightly grease foil.
• 2. Microwave chocolate and butter in a large microwave-safe bowl at HIGH 1 1/2 to 2 minutes or until melted and smooth, stirring at 30-second intervals. Whisk in sugar. Add eggs, 1 at a time, whisking just until blended after each addition. Gently stir in flour and next 4 ingredients. Pour mixture into prepared pan.
• 3. Bake at 350° for 44 to 48 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out with a few moist crumbs. Cool completely on a wire rack (about 2 hours).
• 4. Lift brownies from pan, using foil sides as handles; gently remove foil. Spread Small-Batch Cream Cheese Frosting on top of brownies, and cut into 16 squares. Garnish, if desired.

 

North & South (Mostly South)

Do you remember that mini series? If you are over 35, you probably do. It probably sticks in your memory like the Waltons Christmas Special, Thornbirds and the original Footloose movie.

Kevin Bacon stories anyone?

So.

(By the way, I am trying something different and putting captions on the pictures.)

Step One. Mix Cake Guts.

Apparently this is a southern dessert and I am trying to figure out why all the REALLY great desserts come from the south.

Step Two. Boil this together and add to cake guts. Pink cup is 'fake' buttermilk.

 

Red velvet cake, pecan pie, Mississippi Mud pie, peach cobbler, anything Paula Deen even thinks about baking, etc.

How come the yankees got so ripped off? Is it because they won the war? I don’t get it.

This is what coca cola looks like when you boil it with butter and cocoa powder.

I think I should have been born in the south so that my love for their desserts could have been fully explored.

Here is the latest.

Coca Cola Cake.

Step Three. Add boiled coca cola goop to cake guts.

Now let me just tell you, if a brownie and a piece of fudge got married and had babies, I think the babies would taste like this cake.

AH-MAZING

Step Four (or is it five? Can't remember and too lazy to scroll back) Add eggs and vanilla.

Similar to Texas sheet cake (again-from the south) but better!

Genius.

Butter, coca cola and cocoa powder.

Bout 5 minutes before cake is done, boil some more coca cola goop, only THIS time after it boils, slowly add about 4 cups of powdered sugar.

I think next time I make it (which will be very soon-I am thinking Thanksgiving) I will use the Hershey’s special dark cocoa powder.

I cannot describe the goodness of this cake beyond the whole brownie fudge baby analogy, so you are just going to have to make it.

Don't over bake it! 30-35 minutes until the old toothpick comes out clean.

Today.

Pour the warm glaze right on top of the hot cake.

No, really. Make it.

Let it cool for what will be the longest hour of your life.

Right.

Now.

This is normally where I tell you to buy bigger pants, but this cake is so seriously good, I don’t think there are pants BIG enough to contain it’s goodness.

So just don’t wear any pants at all when you eat it.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

But not really.

 

COCA COLA CAKE

Mix:
2cups flour
2cups sugar
1/2tsp salt
1tsp baking powder
1/2tsp cinnamon

In a saucepan over medium high heat stir this up until it boils:
1 cup butter
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 cup coca-cola
1/2 cup buttermilk

Remove from heat and add that to the flour mixture & whisk until combined.

Then add:
2 eggs
1tsp vanilla extract

Mix, put in 9 x 13 pan, bake it for about 30-35 minutes. Don’t over bake!

About 5 minutes before cake is done, start mixing up the glaze in a saucepan over medium heat.
1/2cup butter
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 cup coca cola

Once that boils, remove and slowly stir in 4 cups of confectioners’ sugar. Whisk all the little white clumps out. You could add pecans or walnuts here if your kids don’t freak out about nuts.

Once cake is done and out of ovenpour this warm glaze right over the top of the hot cake!

Wait forevah!

Take off your pants.

The Lighter Side of Apple Pie

 

From this…..

To this!

I found this on pinterest and thought it was the cutest idea EVAH.

Then I thought, who in the world has that much time on their hands?

Apparently I do, because I made these last night.

They were pretty good, but I have to be honest here and tell you they were a little too much on the healthy side for my taste. Maybe if I had served them with a side of ice cream and caramel sauce.

I don’t know.

I decided to post the recipe anyways, on the off chance that some healthy type people read this blog.

Plus they are pretty cute and they really don’t take that long at all. Your friends will be super impressed, probably not your kids or your spouse, but your friends, your friends will think they are awesome.

Especially if you ply them with wine prior to serving.

These would be great if you have friends with gluten allergies or friends who are diabetic or friends that wear their pants a little too tight.

You could sub out the regular sugar for splenda or another sugar substitute except I can’t think of the names of any other sugar substitutes. You could also use agave nectar in place of sugar, but I am not sure how to approximate the amount of that in the recipe because I have never actually purchased it and I am not sure I know anyone who has.

You could also leave off the top crust and top it with real whipping cream and slivered almonds.

Full of ideas today aren’t I?

Ok.

So chop off the apple tops.

Not to be confused with muffin tops, ok?

Apple tops = good

Muffin tops = not so good

Use a sharp little knife and a spoon to core out the insides. Don’t get it too thin and don’t leave it too thick. Get it just right mmm-kay Goldilocks?

Peel the apple tops and chop them up.

Toss with flour, sugar and lots of cinnamon. Or go one of the diabetic/gluten free routes I mentioned above and leave out the flour and replace the sugar with a substitute.

STEVIA!

I remembered another one.

Then you scoop the apply cinnamony yumminess back into the headless little apple bowls.

There will be about this much leftover.

Eat it.

Trust me.

Line the apples up in a parchment lined pan.

Now.

Quick make the pie crust.

I used this pie crust recipe. It’s my fave. I cut it in half for 5 apples and it was still way too much. Maybe cut the half in half. Got it?

Use a cookie cutter to make the crust tops. Poke a straw through the center to vent.

Bake at 375 for 45-55 minutes.

Serve with ice cream if you want to be completely satisfied.

And caramel sauce.

And wine.

Corn & Potatoes & Cheese! OH MY!

Remember when Dan Quayle spelled potato wrong?

hahahahahaha

Clearly he was no spelling bee champion like yours truly, even if I did get knocked out of regionals by the tricky tricky word pendulum. Which, by the way I used spell check to write in this post, because I am still not 100% sure.

Man.

My pants are tight.

And that folks, is a sad state of affairs because I am wearing exercise (hahahahaha) pants which are mostly, you know, lycra.

Also, they are less likely to be used for exercise and more likely to be worn when you eat too much soup and a regular waist band would cut your circulation off.

They should be called ‘Sit around and let your gut hang out in comfort’ pants.

Maybe just ‘Gut Pants’ for short.

SO anyways, beware of this soup because it can make your fat pants feel like skinny jeans.

Funny, because all the ingredients look wholesome and healthy, kinda like Lindsey Lohan when she starred in the Parent Trap remake. Look how that turned out.

Parent Trap (the original, wholesome Hayley Mills version) remains an unparalleled favorite of mine.

Ok.

So you start with mostly healthiness.

Potatoes (only use the ‘e’ when plural Mr. Quayle, Duh), celery, garlic, onion, corn and celery.

Thought I needed carrots for some reason, but that turned out to be a big fat waste of time peeling them because they are nowhere to be found in this recipe. Guess I’ll save them for a midnight snack or something.

Super healthiness.

Saute your onions, garlic and celery together with a tablespoon of olive oil and a tablespoon of butter. Let it go about 5 minutes.

Total rabbit trail here, but whenever I saute onions and garlic, Mr. Right ambles around muttering ‘that smells good’ and I always say ‘it’s your favorite, onions and garlic’. No matter what the onions and garlic are going into, he says that

Every. Time.

Which makes me wonder why Yankee candle or Salt City or SOMEBODY does not manufacture an onion and garlic candle.

“Bestseller, right there.”

(Read that in the voice of Larry the Cable Guy please)

Add the chicken broth and bring to a boil.

Reduce heat and add the potatoes. Cook on low for about 20-25 minutes.

Add the corn and a little freshly ground black pepper. Hold off on the salt because you are adding the gravy mix packet and that can be salty enough. Stir it up and let it go for a minute or two.

You could leave these out, but they add a nice little spice and I highly recommend them.

Take 2-3 cups out of the pot and transfer to your blender. Puree and add back to soup pot. This will thicken your soup without adding extra fat.

Oh.

But we are gonna do that too.

Mix up your gravy packet with 1 1/2 cup milk. I use skim, because I like to cut fat when I can in order to make room for more important fat.

Like this.

Use Monterey Jack cheese because it melts super smooth. Like Dan Quayle smooth.

Now this is delightful just as it is.

But let’s make it a little more special.

Again. Healthy turkey bacon baked in the oven. Of course, you non health nuts are free to use thick cut, hickory smoked regular bacon or even chopped ham.

Turkey bacon only over here at the house of health.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Enjoy with an icy cold Blue Moon and a fresh orange slice.

Speaking of oranges, is there an orange shortage? Because I was at Smiths yesterday buying Blue Moon to send to a friend (honest) and I went to get an orange and there were about 13 sickly looking oranges available. Then today I had to send Mr. Right to the store to get some Blue Moon for us (because I couldn’t stop thinking about how perfectly it goes with soup) and he texts me from the grocery store. That he texted me in and of itself is not odd becuase anytime he goes to the grocery store he has to text me. “What color onion?’, ‘They don’t have that flavor of Ben & Jerry’s”,  What are capers and where are they?”, but this text said ‘No oranges for the Blue Moon”.

Which leads me to believe there is an orange shortage.

Good thing I picked up that bag f clementines at Trader Joes the other day.

Ate 3 bowls and feel like I am going to explode.

Like a potatoe that’s been in the microwave too long.

SPELL CHECK,  DAN!

Spell.

Check.

CHEESY POTATOE CORN CHOWDER

1 tablespoon butter

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 cup chopped celery

1 cup chopped onion

2 (14.5 ounce) cans chicken broth

3 cups peeled and cubed potatoes

2 (15 ounce) cans whole kernel corn (drained)

1 (4 ounce) can diced green chiles

1 (2.5 ounce) package country style

gravy mix

1 1/2 cups milk

1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese

In large saucepan, melt margarine over medium high heat. Add celery and onion; cook and stir until tender, about 5 minutes.

Add chicken broth; bring to a boil. Add potatoes; cook over low heat for 20 to 25 minutes or until potatoes are soft, stirring occasionally.

Remove 2-3 cups from pot and puree in blender and then return to pot.

Stir in corn and chiles; return to boiling. Dissolve gravy mix in milk; stir into boiling mixture. Add cheese; cook and stir over low heat until cheese is melted.

Change into your exercise pants before eating.

Pumpkin Spice Doughnuts

OK!

Oops--forgot the vanilla and baking powder in this picture.

I know I have totally slacked off on posting this month, but it has been busy. Plus, we had to have our house re plumbed because the builders used some faulty pipe fitting thing and so I have had major construction here all week. Literally, my whole house was wrapped in plastic and I made fast friends with a guy named Mo. No oven, no dishwasher and no washing machine for the better part of a week.

AND….I was in a chili cook off at the church. Lost by 6 votes and then we come home and Mr. Right is saying how good the winners chili was. I was like “Did you vote for that chili?”

Deer.

In.

The.

Headlights.

I would definitely win a doughnut making contest or sure, plus this recipe totally makes up for my lack of October posting.

These are that good!

I used 3/4 cup of whole wheat in the recipe, plus subbed applesauce for the oil or added extra healthiness.

No way around the melted butter though. Sorry. If anyone discovers a suitable substitute for melted butter, call me ASAP.

Margarine is not acceptable.

Of course it helps if you have an enthusiastic assistant helping you with the doughnuts.

It will go so much more smoothly with help.

I promise.

Mix your dry ingredients together. I upped the spice amount, because I love spicy baked stuff.

Mix your wet ingredients and your brown sugar together. Use a whisk and just mix until combined or you will emulsify (or something) the pumpkin and they won’t bake. I know it’s a weird phenomenon, but I have seen it personally. It happened about 6 years ago with a different, but equally enthusiastic assistant.

You could use a muffin pan if you do not have a doughnut pan. You could also use a mini doughnut or mini muffin pan because mini always = less calories.

Remember these are baked and not fried, so they are super healthy. OH! And the whole wheat flour and applesauce, I forgot pumpkin is considered a super food too! Now I don’t feel so badly for eating two as fast as I could.

After baking, let them cool for a few minutes.

While they are cooling, mix your cinnamon and sugar together (heavy on the cinnamon) and melt your butter.

About this time, my assistant abandoned me to help Mr. Right clean out the garage. Approximately 4 minutes later she took a fish hook to the thumb and was back by my side.

Dip the doughnuts in the melted butter and attempt to shake off the excess. Dredge them back and forth in the cinnamon sugar mix until completely coated.

Eat as fast as you can

Have a great weekend! Off to walk the naughty dog and work off the doughnuts. I am thinking 2.5 miles per doughnut?

 

PUMPKIN SPICE DOUGHNUTS

For Donuts:
1 3/4 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1/8 teaspoons ground cloves
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup canned pumpkin
1/2 cup milk

For Coating:
1/2 cup butter, melted
2/3 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cinnamon

Preheat oven 35o degrees

Spray your doughnut/muffin pan and set aside.

In a bowl, mix flour, baking powder, salt and spices together and set aside.

In a large bowl  whisk together oil, brown sugar, egg, vanilla, pumpkin and milk until combined. Slowly add the dry ingredients into the mixture and stir until just combined, careful not to over mix.

Fill each donut cup with the batter.  The donut cups should be fairly full, but not overflowing. Bake for 12-15 minutes, until donuts spring back when gently pressed (if you’re using a mini donut/muffin pan, allow them to bake for 9-10 minutes).  Turn donuts out onto a wire rack and allow to cool for a few minutes.

While the donuts are cooling, melt butter in one bowl and combine the sugar and cinnamon in another.  When donuts are still warm, quickly dip each donut in melted butter, then coat in the cinnamon-sugar mixture.  Serve immediately.

If you’re not going to serve the donuts immediately, you can bake them up to a day in advance and store them in an airtight container.  Do not coat them in the butter/cinnamon-sugar mixture until just before serving or they may get soggy.

Chubby Hubby Bars

**IMPORTANT UPDATE**

Ok.

So.

I wrote this last week, like 8 days ago and am just getting around to putting the pictures in and posting.

You guys, I am crazy busy!

Some of the info is outdated, cause now the Packers are 6-0. And the game I was going to is over and the ebay jerkwad guy never did send my tickets, so we found a local ticket broker and had a fabulous time.

I think you are caught up now.

Proceed….

Holy Fabulous Recipes!!!!

If I never eat another cookie again, I will die happy.

Not really, but you know what I mean….

I must apologize in advance for those of you with peanut allergies. My poor sweet friends, you should just skip this whole post.

OR

Substitute plain M&M’s for the mini Reese’s cups.

Genius.

Made these for the Packer game last week and they were a big hit. Good thing I sent the leftovers home with friends or my pants would be splitting right down the butt seam.

Speaking of the Packers (Did you know they are 5-0?!?!?!) I am heading out on a red eye tonight and arriving in Green Bay tomorrow for the game on Sunday. A red eye flight always sounds like a good idea until the day you actually have to leave. I am a little nervous because I ordered the tickets off of ebay and they are not here yet. Come On Fed Ex guy!

Anyways

Basic cookie dough.

Then you add some magical ingredients.

Ok, maybe not so magical, but very sugary and chewy and salty sweet!

Break up some pretzels. Don’t crush them, just break into pieces.

Add an 8 oz bag of mini peanut butter cups, the Barbie doll sized ones (as if Barbie could eat Reese’s Cups and still fit into her pants). If you have peanut allergies you could sub 1 1/2 cups plain M&Ms or if you are lucky enough to live by a Trader Joes, they have these little teeny tiny caramel cups that would also be amazing.

Spread the goodness in a greased 9 x 13. I recommend a metal pan for cookie type bars, glass does not seem to bake them correctly. Bake for about 25-30 minutes. Err on the longer time so the middle gets done.

Ok, No pictures of the next steps because friends were arriving for the game and I was hurrying.

So just picture in your mind.

If you haven’t lost it like me.

Make sure the cookies are completely cooled. This involves patience and waiting and you know what Tom Petty says. However, if you are a normal person, you will have consumed a couple of spoonfuls of the dough to tide you over.

Unwrap a bag of kraft caramels and melt them in the microwave with a tablespoon of water. I usually melt for a minute, stir, repeat until the caramel is pourable. Pour over the cooled cookie bars and smear it around so the surface is covered.  Stick them in the fridge for about 15 minutes and let the caramel set, unless you are absorbed in the first quarter of the Packer game. Then you just forget about them until half time.

Melt two cups of semi sweet chocolate chips, which pretty much equals the whole bag. Spread on the top. Sit on your hands for about 15-20 minutes until the chocolate sets.

Dig In.

Die Happy.

 

CHUBBY HUBBY BARS

Ingredients

• 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, room temp
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp coarse sea salt
• 1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped pretzels
• 1 (8oz) bag of Reese’s Mini cups (or 2 cups coarsely chopped full sized Reese’s) (Or 1.5 cups plain M&M’s)
• 1 (14 oz) bag of caramels, unwrapped
• 1 Tbsp water
• 2 cups semi sweet chocolate chips, melted

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Spray a 9×13 pan  with cooking spray.
3. Beat together your butter and sugars until light and fluffy.
4. Add eggs and vanilla, mix until incorporated.
5. Add in your salt, baking soda and flour, mixing until just combined.
6. Add in your Reeses and Pretzels, mixing until evenly distributed.
7. Spread in your  pan and bake for 25 minutes.
8. Let cool completely. Approx 30 minutes to an hour.
9. When cooled, melt your caramels and 1 Tbsp water in a microwave safe bowl stirring every minute until melted.
10. Pour over your bars.
11. Chill in fridge for 15 minutes to set caramel.
12. Melt your chocolate chips in a double boiler or microwave and spread over caramel.
13. Put back in the fridge for at least 30 minutes or until chocolate is set.
14. Cut into squares when ready to serve.